Thank You Lagerfeld.
I once read an article about Karl Lagerfeld and how he refused to retire. At the time I thought “this guy is nuts, thats what companies want you to think!”. I always saw a career as something to do after giving up on your dreams, something that paid the bills. But who says your career has to be that? This was a man who was successful in all forms, highly respected by his peers, with a salary of a Bond film villain. Surely his job was done but why couldn’t he retire? Does our skillset become a badge of immortality so long as we maintain our titles?
Disclaimer, I must acknowledge my privilege to be in a position where I can even have an epiphany like this. A moment of clarity where I feel like I’m on the outside of my head looking in. But I sacrificed a lot to get to where I am and I’ve already passed the point of no return. When covid hit in 2020, I had just left a full-time interior design gig to take a sabbatical and freelance for a bit (speaking of bad timing). When the lockdown happened, my freelancing ceased. No one was hiring designers and for the first time in my life, I felt like my career was fake. Like I had wasted 6 years in a field that no longer existed. At the same time, I thought what else could I do? Design wasn’t only my entire identity, it was all that I knew. I had dedicated my entire life to this skill and reaped some of the benefits so how could I turn my back?
Fast forward to 2022 I’m currently working at an agency as a graphic designer again and studying in my spare time. I’m also running my own studio on the side. The simplest way to put it is that I work 7 days a week. Every day theres a task I have to tackle whether it’s a freelance client request or an assignment to submit for class. 7 years ago when I was a full time student working part-time in this exact position (minus the personal practice), I cracked under the pressure and dropped out to work full time. So what changed? Why am I happily working through the same challenges this time around. Somehow I’m balancing all of the obstacles I faced back then while adding another layer of complexity. Is it age? Am I wiser? Am I better with time management and organization? Have I finally figured out time travel and become Marty Mcfly? I’ve come to realize it’s none of what I listed. What has changed is my passion. I no longer view my career as simply a means for survival and that has ultimately changed both my disposition and rigor. What’s changed is my love for the practice.
I am in love with design. I get in bed at night and think about typography. I lay down like “How can I make a typeface as good as akzidenz?”. I think about the set design in “2001 A Space Odyssey” or the costume design in “Do the Right Thing”. I think about vintage Braun posters. I think about the contours on the 1991 Porsche 911. I wake up and think about Kanye’s outfits during the “Yeezus era” or whether not i can fit into the new Hedi Slimane collection. I get in the shower and read Aesop labels. I look at every campaign poster on the subway and take pictures of any sign that interests me. I look at the rag on restaurant menus. I critique the identities of whatever brand instagram chooses to shove down my throat that day. In fact I started using arena every day because I see more mood-boards and design inspo there than I do on social media. I’m no longer interested in things that don’t inspire or stimulate me in the way that I want. I have intentionally immersed myself in the creative world and the way people think and I don’t care much for anything else happening outside of that.
Falling in love with my field has lead me to a point where I no longer want to be good at what I do, or even great at it, I want to be the best. This world can’t be something I casually partake in, I have to breathe design, I have to be it. Now I finally understand how Karl felt. It’s truly a privilege to be able to create for a living. How dare I walk away from this, How could I? Lets say one day I’ve had enough, I’m finally tired of the tango with clients, I reach the point where I’m done with design (never happening). Where would I even go? If design ceased to exist tomorrow I would have nothing. I’ve dedicated my life to this practice, What else would I do? What else do I love as much as this?
I will spend my last days creating, whether it’s a brand identity or series of paintings. And as much as I love this craft, I also critique it. I notice the feeling of repetition across brand campaigns today. Why does every rebrand look the same? Why are so many agencies using the same typefaces? The same style of iconography and photography? Why are so many agencies lacking in diversity? How could I turn my back on aspiring creatives that look or think like me? How could I ignore the obstacles that once hindered me? I plan to spend the rest of my life pushing the boundaries of this field and breaking the hinges off of the doors that once shut me out and in order to do that, I cannot retire.
To retire is to imply that you’ve accomplished your mission. But the fact of the matter is, to me, design is visual communication. It’s a strategic language and as language constantly evolves so must the field. The mission is never accomplished. I believe that as designers our job is never done. We must always push to evolve our field from every aspect whether it’s conceptual or operational. Karl was right, we can never retire.